In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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