1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
