with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I love having hate sex.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
