1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
high people should be assigned attendants
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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