watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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