did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
