don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have demons in me.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
