Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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