At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
