I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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