I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize