At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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