I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
