she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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