I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
