he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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