If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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