Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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