seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
