It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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