I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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