Michael Bay diarrhea
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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