I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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