You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
