stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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