I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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