Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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