I wish i was in the wii world.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
