how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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