i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
