sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you win again, gameday.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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