chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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