You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
