I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
