So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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