Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
