She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
