i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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