Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
