Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
