Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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