hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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