he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
