Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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