Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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