i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
