smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize