she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
