Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
