Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
