You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
