i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
