I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
