I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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