I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
