I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
