Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
