the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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