Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
