and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
COCAINE IS GR8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
try to milk me bitch
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize