my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
