Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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