8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
