I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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