My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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