I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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