You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
